As many of you know there are a lot of things men and woman battle about and when you are married these battles can sometimes become epic! One of the longest battles between man and woman and one that is fought almost on a daily basis in my household is the battle over the remote control. Yes, the remote control. What did we do before this amazing invention, I love and loath the control. This one device can make two intelligent, well rounded, somewhat sane individuals fight like children and sometimes even worse. No matter how compatible you are with your partner there will always be a difference in opinion on what to watch on TV.
He is into the History channel, Discovery, A&E. Shows like the First 48, Modern Marvelous, Cash Cab. While I enjoy these shows, I am really addicted to my Housewives and Law and Order. OH! And when there is a big game on, no matter what sport it is, he is glued to the television. I have another television in the bedroom and most nights I concede defeat and go off into my cave, but on the rare occasion that he says lets watch TV together the battle begins, he needs to hold the remote, and whenever he feels like going back to the channel I have chosen to watch it is conveniently on commercial. Why is it that men have to hold the remote even when they’re not using it, it sits on their laps or in their hands like an extension of their manhood. Regardless if I claimed territory in front of the set in the living room, once he sits on the sofa the control goes in his hands and what I was watching becomes an after thought because he is in control of the control.
Before we had children, I many times like I stated before went off to the room to watch my shows uninterrupted, but now all has changed another contender has shown her face in this battle and she takes no prisoners! My two year old has made it very clear to me that the television that I paid for, that resides on the wall, in my room is for her viewing pleasure and no one else’s! Yesterday as I waited for my family to come home I started dinner, took a shower, and began cleaning the house, once they got home we all had dinner, I put my two month old down for the night and prepared myself for battle. At first I was no match, my husband sat watching some sports event on the living room set and my daughter was watching some Nick Jr. show in the bedroom, I had to be satisfied with the bits and pieces of Backdraft when my husband’s game was on commercial.
But then a break . . . she was playing with her toys in the living room. 15 minutes passed and she was still entertained so I made my move. I went to the bedroom to take the control and turn on MTV. She comes in about 10 minutes later, looks at me in the face and says “mommy you can’t watch TV here, your TV is in the weaving room (living room. To which I respond, “But baby girl you were not watching TV here.” She snaps back, “no you go to weaving room, come on, vamonos!!!” Waving her little hand for me to follow her, she points to the empty seat next to her dad and says, “You and daddy here weaving room, that’s my TV, I watch Dora and Diego and Kai-Lan”
Oh my, what has my life come to! I am getting bossed around by an adorable two year old. I go back to the room throw myself on my bed and say, “No mommy is watching TV here.” She angrily goes to the “weaving” room and tells her dad, “Daddy you in weaving room, tell mommy, that’s my TV, I watch TV there not mommy go daddy tell.” I stand my ground.
Now a new weapon that I was not ready for has been introduced. She comes in, climbs into bed with me, takes my face in her two little hands and says “mommy I love you, please can I watch TV, I wanna see Wow Wow Wubbzy, oh please mommy, you my best friend.” How can I say no to that? How can I look my little girl in the face after she has just told me I am her best friend and deny her the one thing she wants? So I give her access to the TV and as I am getting comfortable on our bed I pull the covers over us and begin to become at peace that once again the battle for the control of the TV is not one I can win, she turns to me and demands, “Now I want milky (chocolate milk) and a cookie now mommy, thanks.” Gotta love her!!!
So I am waving the white flag and giving up the hope that the remote control will ever be solely in my possession for the rest of my live. I no longer control what I want to watch and when I want to watch it. I simply just exist. With this defeat under my belt, I sign off by saying, THE BATTLE CONTINUES…