I have never called myself the greatest mother in the world, far from it. Like many woman have no clue what to do when raising a kid we just figure it out as we go along. While I didn't have children I looked around at people that had children and I would note I am not gonna let my kid suck on a pacifier or I am not gonna let my kid sleep in my bed. Boy!!! was I wrong. My daughter is two and half years old now and she still drinks from her bottle at night to soothe her to sleep, she sleeps in our bed and sucks on her "bobo". Oh and yes she still uses diapers. Now my daughter her first year of life did many things very quickly, she turned, sat up, crawled and even spoke her first words way before she turned one years old. I mean the girl was walking at 9 months. So I swore to all that was holy that when it came down to taking her pacifier away and training her to use the potty my lovely daughter would take to it like water. Umm... not the case at all.
Now the Potty training is an on going issue. I am not really consistent with her at all. I know I should be but I am not with her all day and when I get home I try but I do have to buckle down and show her how to use the potty because next year she will be starting school and she needs to get over this milestone. But the battle that we have been having lately in my house is the pacifier. Now when she was younger and had colic I tried not to give her the pacifier, but once she was going to her grandmothers house to get babysat there she was given the pacifier and then the obsession began. I don't really now what is the big deal but she sucks on that thing all day if you let her. I had to take it away from her so that I can understand what she is telling me. I only use to give it to her at night so that she can fall asleep but she is almost three years old now and she hardly uses a bottle, she eats on her own, drinks from a regular cup so it was time, time to let go of the pacifier.
We had tried a lot of different ways. Going on the Super Nanny theory I told my daughter that fairies needed her bobo to give to needy children, my daughter's response "I am a needy children mommy". I told her that her bobo was caca to which my daughter responded "clean it mommy". We even told her bobos are for babies like your little sister and you are a big girl to which my daughter responded "This big girl bobo that is baby bobo" and looked at me like I did not know the difference. Then finally one day my husband comes up with a plan he starts telling her how she does everything so much like a big girl, congratulating her on how she helps me and how she does things around the house and she was in amazement of herself. Then he turns to her but wait I can't call you a big girl yet because you still use a bobo, you should really throw that in the garbage, now I am looking at this and thinking there is no way she is going to give it up, no way she is going to fall for that. My daughter looks at her bobo and goes to the garbage and throws it away and then asks her father if she is a big girl now. I was amazed, flabbergasted, just in pure disbelief, she had actually thrown out that pacifier on her own. We congratulated her on this amazing fete of becoming one step closer to being a big girl, but then the real fun began. That night at bed time she began asking for it demanding it, crying and crying take it out the garbage, go get it mommy, clean it. I had to tell her the garbage truck took it. It took her more than two hours to fall asleep.
The next day and days to follow it was more of the same every time one of us went outside, the question was thrown to us did you buy me a new bobo, do you have my bobo, did you get me a bobo???? I asked other moms for advice everyone told me to stick to my guns not to give in and I did. It's been almost a week now and though she continues to randomly ask for it, its done with less drama and theatrics as in previous cases. I honestly can say other than when she had colic when she first came home from the hospital this has to be the hardest thing I have done with her, I can't imagine how potty training is going to be.
Like other moms told me and I am telling everyone out there you just have to stick with it, they are not going to get sick or die or anything if they don't get there own way. Though at times its going to seem much easier to just give in, you are doing your child an injustice if you do. My daughter is very dramatic and very sharp so it was kind of funny when she would say things about her bobo or how she demanded that her dad go buy one. In the long wrong I am happy that we stuck to our guns, this will help speak clearer and for us to understand her better.
My only piece of advice in this blog is just don't ever give in. I am so tired, haven't had sleep in a few days but we are bobo free and I am happy to report that last night was the first night she did not ask for it. So tonight when I get home the two pacifiers I have that I kept for emergency purpose will be going in the garbage, because I also realized I had to let go too. I was using that pacifier as a crutch an easy way to calm her down when things got crazy and deep down I did want to give it to her, because it made my life much easier. Yes I admit it. That doesn't make me or you a bad mom it's just so much easier to deal with them, but in the long run it's no good for them or for you. I realize that now and can honestly say I am happy for by big girl. She is a trip but you got to love her.