Wednesday, August 24, 2011

It just keeps getting harder and harder!!!

As my daughters continue to grow, it just seems to get a bit harder to manage my time. I didn't expect things to get easier! Not by a long shot just I still really haven't learned to manage my time well. There are so many things that I want to do, yet I really can't even begin to think when and how will I find the time. I get home sometimes and though I haven't seen my daughters all day, I get consumed in cooking dinner, washing clothes, bathing them, getting ready for the next day, then someone calls or whatever and next thing I know it's time to put them to bed. Never mind time with my husband, I am also finding that during the week I can't seem to find time to spend some quality time with them.This really bothers me, my husband and I make an effort to make the weekends about family, we try to do something with them or at least with Layla because she is bigger and has much more energy that needs to be burned off! I try to do all the laundry and household duties by Friday so that even if we stay in at home, they have my undivided attention. It gets hard because I get tired too and I would love to just sit and be on my only two days off!
I really don't like to complain about not having time for myself, I get disapproving looks from my mother when I do. She once told me that I have no clue what it's like to be with my girls all day long! Maybe she didn't mean it as bad as it sounded but those words stood with me so I try not to complain. Although this is my blog so I can vent! I may not know what it is like to be with my girls all day long, but I do know that working full-time and being a mom full-time is really hard! Your time is not your time anymore. I am finding myself falling into slumps more often. I am trying to break out of it but it's getting a bit difficult. Lately, I have to admit that the slump I am currently in is a bit overwhelming. I, by all accounts seem fine! I wake up every morning, I do what I have to do, but I just am not feeling right. I am constantly tired, my headaches are coming back and I am a bit cranky! NOT A GOOD COMBINATION! But I must be improving because in the past I was not able to point this out myself and now at least I can see the signs! LOL Its a start.

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