Monday, November 28, 2011

My cluttered mind

I have been feeling very much in a daze, these past couple of weeks! For the most part this past year and a half I have been able to take all the little bumps in the road my little family has had to endure! But I most say these past two months I am not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

I have been on the verge of writing this post for a while trying to get my thoughts out, because everything is not always so cute, but the words just run through my head like everything else. It wasn't till this morning when I finally came undone! I felt the anxiety attack creeping in on me at 645am as I sat in the bathroom trying to do Layla's hair and her fighting me every step of the way! I had to remove myself from the situation and go walk the dog just to get some fresh air and try to calm my thoughts, my breathing, myself!

I keep going back to that thought "I am not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel" This past year we have been able to get by though its been hard, we have been making it through. As the year comes to a close it's becoming a bit tighter and I have had to become a bit creative with our budget. I guess it's the holidays and just the thought of some more months of just making it through, seeing that our finances need some adjusting and finding that the budget keeps getting tighter and tighter. Its got me worried! I mean in the grand scheme of things we are better than most. We have a roof over our heads, we have our health and my kids want for nothing and because we were doing so well before we were able to save money that we have been able to dip into when times got rough. Though now even that is starting to dry!  I am so not use to counting every penny and budgeting every dollar and if we go off the budget for any little thing then we are paying for it at the end of the month. 

All these thoughts are becoming way too overwhelming. How much longer can we really keep this up! That is my biggest concern! I know deep down we will be fine! I know this! But in the day to day I get worried, I have moments of weakness I guess you can call it and sometimes due to my anxiety, they become moments of despair!  I have to say that it always helps to have someone by your side to help you carry the load. I have to remind myself at times that I am not alone in this, and that I should talk more openly to my husband about my concerns and fears. It's just that due to my personality I just try to always find ways to fix the problem. I always just try and take it upon myself to carry the load and get it done! I guess alot of moms out there are like that, we carry the burden for our families.

But at the end of the day it's great to know that I don't have to carry this load alone! I do have a great partner and I have to remind myself to open up to him and let him know what I am feeling, even if there is nothing any one of us can do to fix the situation at the moment at least it's out there and the feelings can be recognized and dealt with. I am rambling.... I still can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, I still don't know when we will get completely back on our feet, but I do realize that I am not alone!

I didn't want this to be a total depressing post so here are some tips that I have found help me save money:

  • Brown bag breakfast and lunch! This is a must for a family on a budget. In the area I work I can easily spend up close 15 bucks a day on breakfast and lunch. I usually bring leftovers for lunch and I also do a small grocery list for my office every pay period. I go to target and get a pack of bagels maybe a small cereal and some milk I find that is cheaper than buying a bagel a day from our local deli!
  • Sign up at your favorite stores for their email list! These really work. I get great emails from all my favorite stores and get coupons and deals to shop and save money.
  • Clip coupons. Now I am not an extreme couponer but I can't pass up a good deal especially when shopping on a budget. I try to cut coupons for the things at the supermarket that I or my girls can't live without so that even if the supermarket doesn't have it on sale we can still afford it.

I have so many other ideas to save money and stick to your budget but I rather hear from you guys. What are some creative things you guys do to keep your family on track?


  1. You are not alone... I can so relate to everything you have stated. Have faith you will see the light at the end of the tunnel. ~Hugs~

  2. Shopping at close out stores really help! Out here we have a Big Lots, where I get all my toiletries. In Westchester, there's a place called Amazing Savings which has a similar theme to Big Lots, not as big, but you can find a lot of great deals there too. I would definitely go to the Big Lots site and use their store locator to find out the closest one to you. I like to go there to stock up on handwash, body wash, shampoo, mascara, laundry detergent and sometimes they carry other really great unexpected items that I grab. It has helped me a lot through out the years to shop at places like these to lower my spending on certain items. xo

  3. Like you said, I try not to buy antyhing without a coupon. Not many people are aware that Bed Bath and Beyond has toiletries so I use their 20% off coupons to buy face wash, shampoo, face lotion, stuff for the vag... I know TMI, but they also have toiletries for children, like pampers and baby lotion and stuff. AND even if their 20% off coupon has expired, they will still accept them.

    And you are certainly not alone with the mind clutter. I'm right there with you, sista.