Thursday, May 17, 2012

Boys and Girls

OK so my daughter is not six, she just turned four in April of this year!!! This is the conversation that we had as we walked from the corner store to our house and had a rare one on one conversation.

Mommy: Daddy doesn't like when you chase that boy around, you know that right?
Layla: Yeah... I know... but...
Mommy: But what you better start listening to Daddy. Layla I know this boy is your friend but he is older, you can't climb over the gates when you in the park.
Layla: I know but he so much fun. I like him....
Mommy: You like him... what, why
Layla: Because mommy he handsome, and he wears his hair like this (motions her hand to head and waves up)with jelly in it.
Mommy: Jelly?
Layla: Yeah Jelly not the Jelly for food the one for the hair.

 Now maybe I am naive but I thought I was safe from this kind of talk for a really, really, really long time!!! She is only four. Can she possibly understand.

This conversation has been just one of the few conversations that have come up in the past couple of days about boys and girls in my house. The other day she came running from upstairs and took off her shirt. When I asked her why she was going topless she told me EJ (her cousin) takes off his shirt when he is hot so she will do the same. Now I have a hard time explaining to her why boys and girls are different and there are certain things that boys can do that girls can't!( OK I can here everyone out there saying BOO to me and so not true, but it is true!) Of course I let my daughters know they can be a whatever they want but some things like taking off your shirt and going with out is one that just can't happen. I come from a very traditional Hispanic family, my sister and I did not walk around in underwear in front of our father, brothers, or any other man in our house and though I am modern I still hold somethings that are traditional. I kind of let things slide cause I say well she is only four but when my mom is calling me like your daughter wants to run naked, I start to wonder maybe I should not let her express herself so freely... LOL

Then the issue of boys.. she has talked about boys before but never in the context of oh he is handsome, or he wears his hair with Jelly. A few weeks ago I saw her playing with her Jessy and Woody dolls they were Dancing and kissing she told me they just got married!

I am so not ready for this... how do I handle my four year old talking about boys. Some people say don't take her seriously she really does not know what she is talking about but if you don't address what she is saying then isn't that worse! Also I want her to be able to express herself and all that but really there are things that boys can do that girls can't. I like that my daughter rather play catch with her dad then sit around having tea. Even though she still does that but I also want her than when she does sit and has tea she has a shirt on and crosses her legs! Is that too much to ask!

The he is so handsome line is haunting me at night.. I meet her dad when I was 14 years old! Look at me now... LOL Lord help me!!!!  


  1. New follower via After Bedtime Blog. Latina mom from NY. I so understand how you feel, I have not been there myself yet. My boy is 11 and my girl is 3 years old and have not dealt with this yet. I know I will soon but it is never easy. There is never one easy answer. I will say to be honest and follow your instincts never goes wrong for me. Right now my son is away at a school trip for three days and only hope he makes the right decisions on his own. Best of luck! Love your candor and humor on your blog.

    1. Thank you! Yeah you are right there is never one easy answer!! DON'T I WISH!!! Thank you for your comment and thanks for following... by the way I check out your blog and love it!!!

  2. Once I started preschool I liked boys and I even kissed a boy in school, but I had no real idea what I was doing. I was only mimicking what I had seen on tv. That was when I was about 6 or 7, though. I don't think you have anything to worry about for now w the handsome comment... Or maybe you do cause she gave you a reason for why she thought he was handsome. lol. I know, I am not helping.