Friday, January 21, 2011

Peaks And Valleys

Peaks and Valleys, I believe that is a perfect description of marriage. You learn quickly that real life is not like in the story books. A healthy working relationship be it marriage or a committed relationship takes work. Alot of work, things don't always come up roses. The true test of a relationship is how you as a couple climb out of that valley.

I also believe that sometimes as the modern moms that we are, we get caught up between the children, work, keeping up with the household, we tend to put our relationships on the back burner. This is not something that is done intentionally but like everything else when there are too many things going on at once sometimes certain things will fall into the cracks. Its normal. It happens. The key is to catch it before you fall into a deep valley. Don't get me wrong I am not a marriage counselor, and I am not saying don't pay attention to your children to tend to your partner, because really when you think about it, it's not about your husband, your partner, or who ever you choose to share your life with, marriage is a living thing, bigger than the both of you, it needs attention, it needs to be nurtured in order to continue growing and evolving.

Recently my own marriage fell into a valley, and it made me think of my own personal choices. I realized that my husband and I have been together so long that at times we take advantage of that fact. We fall back on the fact that because we have been together so long things just work themselves out. This time it was not that simple. We realized that we were both focused all of our attention on our daughters that we were not taking time to nurture our relationship. Its easy to fall back and just continue on with the motions and never even realize that there is a problem until you look over at your partner and realize that the relationship has become detached.

Like the central theme of this blog, finding the balance in life as a modern woman and a modern mom. I had to come to a realization that I also had to find the balance in my marriage, I choose to take this journey with my partner therefore I have to take the time as my partner does to nurture our relationship. Together we realized we just got caught up in the everyday things and stop really communicating what the real issues are thinking that it would just fix itself. It is still a work in progress. Will we fall into another valley quite possibly, have we climbed out of this one... umm... lets just say we still climbing, has there been peaks along the way YES!

Peaks and Valleys... this is a perfect description for life, marriage, motherhood, just about everything you can think of. As a mother, wife, executive, daughter, sister, friend etc., peaks and valleys are a staple in my life. I may not always have the answers and I will have to face the fact that I may never have the answer, but a ride with peaks and valleys seems a whole lot more interesting that just going straight.

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