Just wanted to get some thoughts off my chest, sitting here at my computer and I am kind of lost. I know I have said this before but in recent days I have been feeling a sense of confusion and a sense of loss. When it comes to working I really don't know what I am doing. I mean I have a "job" I get up every day and I go to work. I have a pretty good job, I like my coworkers, my boss and for the most part I like what I do, but is it what I want to do! Do I see myself retiring from this job, do I see it fulfilling my life... NO NOT IN THE LEAST!
So then what do I do, I am 31, I sometimes feel like my time for exploration is done! I have a family that I have to think about, I have responsibilities and bills, and all that other great stuff that comes from being a grown up and being a mom! I would love to just take this blog to the next level, write books and just be!! LOL I am in la la land. I often wonder, about going back and finishing up my degree, but when will I find the time! All these questions and scenarios are running through my head at the moment. Then this weekend my best friend calls me to tell me that she has a potential client that wants us to plan part of her wedding!!! Can you believe it a paying client! Then are start to think maybe we should try and get our business up and running! I don't know what I am saying, on one hand I want to finish school, then I want another job, then I want to start my own business, and then I want to be a writer. I am so confused, I guess I can do it all!
Do it all???? What a novel idea! How will I find the time? How will I find the money? What if I fail? At this point I just don't have the answers. I don't have my nice little moral of the story, all nice and gift wrapped. I just don't know what lies in the unwritten chapters of my life! I guess you not supposed to know. I just feel at this point in my life I should have some kind of sense of what I really want to do and have some kind of plan to achieve it, a list of things that I think I am good at, is just not cutting it anymore. I need a plan! I will keep you guys posted because right now this blog is confusing me to tell you the truth! I know I will be successful in whatever I decide to do, just wish I know what it is that I would want to do!
Have any of you felt this way before, don't let me be the only one out on this tree branch alone! Share your stories with me, maybe we can figure this out together! You can leave your comments below or you can share them on our new Adventures of Modern Mom fan page.