It's time to take inventory! I remember someone telling me this when they were speaking about relationships and when I first heard it I thought inventory of what??? I mean what could that possibly mean... as I listened, I realized its just to get things back on track! Inventory of your feelings, of the situation, of the pros and cons of whatever it is you are going through.
Lately my husband and I have been really short with eachother. It doesn't take much to set off an argument big or small. He is a really easy going person so arguments in my house usually make me feel like I am being a bully! I get all upset and reeved up and he just gets upsets and shuts down or we just end up yelling at eachother and not really getting to the core of the problem. Maybe it's the situation we are in and all that comes with that, maybe its the fact that we are both working hard to get our family on track but even though we are both trying to keep it together the cracks are starting to show! I had to actually go and re-read one of my own blogs where I discuss having a positive argument.
This past week I had finally taken inventory of my feelings and actually had a productive talk with my husband about our situation and it was a good talk. I had really thought about what I wanted to tell him and how I wanted to say it. This helped me out alot because I didn't dwell on who's fault it was or who did what but we worked on trying to find solutions to get over this small bump in our road! I was surprised that he also felt alot like I was feeling, but really didn't know how to approach the situation.
I know that sometimes it feels good to yell and just get stuff of your chest, but through this situation especially I have learned that this really isn't going to get us anywhere. We need solutions we need a plan we need to both be working on a common goal. Yes this is all better said than done and like I have stated numerous times I am by no means an expert, I am simply pointing out what I have learned in my own relationship. I am learning to take inventory of my feelings, even if it takes me a few days to bring up something that bothered me or something that just needs attention. I have seen that once I just think about what I am going to say before I actually say it, its more effective when it comes to my marriage.
Don't get me wrong we still get mad, we still fuss and fight I mean who doesn't, but together we are trying. Once the dust clears we have a concise plan as to what to do and how to do it. The only way one is going to get over it is to have a plan that both can do. We have taken inventory and will continue to do so as we navigate through this phase in our marriage. Its easy to point fingers and give blame, but it's much harder to sit and be adults and try to find out how to solve the problem or at least make a plan to get on the road to a solution. We are working on it.
You know I will keep you guys posted! For now we are constantly learning things that worked in our marriage a few months ago or even a few years ago may not work now because as our marriage grows and changes we grow and change so we always have to take inventory of the situation and just lean on eachother to try and get through. So far so good we working on it like always!