That's me! The momma of the "terror squad" and I have a confession to make, new things terrify me! I am a creature of habit and I don't take well to change... how can she have three kids then... hey I didn't actually say I knew what I was doing... I just try my best and hope to hell I keep them alive LOL (JOKE PEOPLE!!!!) But seriously I do fear change a lot and a lot of things scare me. Though for the most part I can push my fear aside and do what I have to do... there has been one thing in my life that I have not been able to conquer!!!
Living in New York I really didn't have to learn to drive, I mean it was not a necessity, everywhere I need to go I just got on a train or bus and did the damn thing!!! That was one of the great things about living in the city everything was just a train ride away!!! Which was fine with me because I have a fear of driving. I just never saw the need in it!
Fast forward to us moving, now I am 33 years old with a learner's permit that I have done nothing with and now I need to learn to drive or wait for an hour or more on a bus that will take almost two hours to get to my destination!!! UMM... no thank you!!! So I put on my big girl panties and I had the hubby start teaching me to drive and guess what I learned about myself!!! This old dog can learn new tricks!!!
I DROVE ALL THE WAY TO MOTHERFUCKING WALMART PEOPLE!!!!
I still need some more lessons and my marriage has not been broken from my husband teaching me and I got over my fear. I still have a little bit of fear but I think that is now what is driving me. I have let this fear hold me back for far to long! Now I know this sounds cliche and all that jazz but as I drove to Walmart and parked the car I had a deeper sense of freedom and independence! It is going to be awesome to not have to wait for someone to take me anywhere, if I want to go I can go... and here where trains and buses are far and few between this is a necessity that is necessary!!! I got an adrenaline rush as for the first time in a long time I got over one of my many fears!!! A few more lessons and then I will attempt to take my driving test!! I feel like I am 16, (is that when normal people take their driving test???) Anyway its never too late to try something new and step out of your comfort zone.
Moving out of state for the first time and being somewhere completely new to me has made me face many of my fears, insecurities and comfort zones. I have been forced to step out of my box that I had spent many of years perfecting! And guess what I found out??? It's so much fun to try new things so what if you fail, you learn something new no matter what! Maybe I am slow in learning this lesson but hey... this time of my life I am exploring and learning so many new things about myself that if we had not moved maybe I would not have learned because this move forced so many things on me! It's scary, its fun, it's overwhelming, it's all these emotions all in one and I wouldn't change it for the world! I feel like moving has given me a reason, to try new things, get out there and meet new people and rediscover myself and in the process I am learning new things about myself or things that were there but really didn't rise up to the surface!
This post is so much more than just me learning to drive, but just getting behind the wheel and actually doing it is so big for me! It symbolizes so much more! I feel like I can try new things with out fear and just open my mind to what can possible go right instead of dwelling on all that can go wrong! So watch out for me on the big open highways!!! LOL I may just chill in the slow lane for a while but I will get there soon enough!